WISDOM
                                                        ( A memoir)

Introduction

          Getting older is both a blessing and a curse, but there are more positives than negatives which we should focus on and use to our advantage. The most important of these positives is putting together all the pieces of knowledge we had come across in our youth like a puzzle and applying them to the best of our ability.
          Fragments that we come across in our childhood and developing years can seem insignificant at that age, but can be integral many years later when we use our adult minds to bring order to chaos, so to speak. I will try to explain to the best of my ability the very fragments that I have found and held onto over the course of my life thus far, how they came to be, and why it took me so long to make sense of them and improve myself using the knowledge they contained.
          Not everyone knows what to do with those odd pieces of knowledge, often letting them slip out of their minds to never ever have the chance to recall, losing out on their own 'eureka' moment that may have explained something that wouldn't have otherwise had an answer or defined conclusion. We always seem to lament the fact that if we had some of those answers right away (in our childhood), that things may have turned out different, or the path forward could have changed right then and there.
          Hindsight is twenty-twenty, dear Reader, and always will be. As much as we wished we could have had those answers back then, our minds at the time were still developing, and we didn't know then what we know today as well as how it all fits into place. True answers anc conclusions can take years, decades, even a lifetime to locate, nevermind figure out to completion.
          The best we can do is always be out there, looking for answers. The day we stop looking for answers and give up on the questions themselves is the day where we come to a complete stop and don't even live anymore. One of my personal missions in life is to always be on a never-ending quest for knowledge. This involves reading books, going on treks through the countryside to learn more about the physical world, running my own projects and experiements, and taking on any questions or problems that need answers, as I also enjoy a good challenge.
          I will try to communicate some of this, as well as explaining as to how I became such an intellectual, and why searching for knowledge is important to me. I will also reference people that were influential in my quest for knowledge, places I have been, and offer as much insight as I can into all the wisdom I have come across. In the last few months, I have lamented as to how I wished that this vast knowledge could have come in handy years/decades ago and helped me out in situations that could have ended differently and under much better circumstances.
          Alas, such is life, dear Reader!

I: Reading Books

          Reading is one of the key building blocks to help understand the world around us, and it's something I've done since a very early age. I started to read newspapers at the age of three and four, due to my above-average comprehension skills (of which, I will delve into in more detail later on). Words on a page always fascinated me, and they still do to this very day.
          At the age of six, I was given several picture books written/illustrated by the legendary Richard Scarry, and these books had a very immediate impact on my life, and a good one. The little animal people running around their town/city, driving vegetable cars, and living their lives interested me right away. My first thought was to ask why they drove those vegetable cars, and where were they all going? I used to ask my mother about the illustrations, and wonder if that is how life works. Would I get a pickle car, or go camping wearing a puffy jacket in the snow?
          Children are like sponges, and are keen to taking everything in at a young age and absorbing everything they can. The issue lies with the fact that children can't really interpret those things like adults can, and often end up with jumbled thoughts and disjointed trains of thought do to a lack of development and experience. Some of these fragments can stay with us well into adulthood, and it does affect us in ways we might not know or understand for some time.
          A big impact on me back in my childhood were the Hardy Boys (don't laugh) series of mystery books. I have three of them when I was a kid, and really enjoyed the small adventures that were laid out. Written for young adults and teenagers, I gravitated towards them because I could easily visualize the town of Bayport as well as the Hardys and their friends, almost placing myself with them in their quest to solve yet another mystery and do some good in that world of theirs that always seemed to have criminals hiding in the shadows and around every corner.
          The big breakthrough for me came when I was introduced to comic books. The never ending duel between good and evil as laid out in their pages had a profound effect on me, and still do to this day. My grandfather told me stories of superheroes and how comic books were done back when he was a kid, telling me tales of generational protagonists like The Shadow, The Phantom, Plastic Man, the Green Lantern (which would become my favourite superhero of them all), and others that seemed transcend time. The illustrations inside my comic books and the story they told took me away to another place and filled my head with wonder every time.
          There was also the time that I got to attend my first ever Scholastic book fair in elementary school, which kept me on the path of reading and was always a wonderful event that we (as kids) always looked forward to. The book fair not only opened our eyes (as children) to books in general, but also helped us to understand that books were the doorway to wonderful adventures of the mind, and could take us anywhere we dared to go within their pages.
          As every year of my childhood and teenage years went by, I always wanted something new to read, whether it be a new book, magazine, or comic book. Newspapers also became something that I really started to enjoy in my teenage years that also spilled into my twenties and early to mid-thirties, Reading was, is, and always be an important facet of who I am. Being a writer, it is imperative that I read as much as possible, as that is where writing comes from to a certain degree, Not only do I read for knowledge, but also inspiration as well.

II: The Physical World

          An example of me looking for answers at a young age was being fascinated by construction equipment and trains since I was little. I didn't understand how a train or bulldozer or dump truck worked, but I always had this desire to ask questions about them to the 'grown ups' and/or try to figure it out myself. I became obsessed with trains (I even have my own model railroad these days), and getting Tonka trucks in my childhood helped me to understand construction equipment in a limited way. Before I moved away from our townhouse complex at the age of ten, my grandfather would always take me for walks down our street and under the train bridge crossing, and the icing on the cake would be getting to see a train cross the bridge!
          A lot of knowledge is accumulated through touch, and what we can feel and experience with our own hands. It's sometimes not enough to just see something or hear it, but we must come into physical contact with it to gain some insight. To a lesser extent, we need to build it, take it apart, repair it, or hold it's components in our hands to truly understand what it is and what it does. 
          "How does that work?" is a question I have asked since I was a kid, whether I asked it looking at a car, boat, airplane, train, or anything/everything else mechanical or technological. The inner workings and purpose of such things has always been a keen interest of mine to this day. I'd look at some of my more complicated toys and try to take them apart from time to time (with mixed results), wanting to learn how it was able to do what it did. I'd take axles off toy cars, remove plastic casings off toys, and even took apart a walkie talkie once.
          Curiosity is an often overused word, and for me it less of that and more of a quest for knowledge so that one day I could possible duplicate it on my own (not as easy as it seemed back then, until I was far into adulthood an had gained a lot of experience building and repairing things on my own) and/or find a way to repair them when they broke instead of trying to get a replacement.
          Growing up in both my father's and grandfather's workshops, I already had a decent knowledge of tools and equipment, which helped me in my teenage years when I started to repair my own bicycle and tinker with things from time to time. Bicycles fascinated me and were a passion for many years, and as a child, always made me wonder how the wheels went around and around the way they did. I even saved up my allowance one summer and bought an old bike for $10 at a garage sale for the sole purpose of taking it apart and seeing what each and eveyr part did. Unfortunately, I wasn't able (at that time) to put it all back together properly, and traded it to a bike guy up the street for a used BMX.
          Still, the experience was an interesting one, as it helped me to learn a lot about how the brake cables, gears, and other parts of the bike worked. This is when I started to perform almost all my own repairs on my own bikes, as well as helping other kids in the neighbourhood with quick fixes as well.
          Always looking to expand my knowledge, it was in my late teens that I started to take an interest in motors and engines, watching my father repair weed whackers, the lawnmower, and even work on his own vehicle in the driveway from time to time. The sight of something pulled apart and being fixed while the workbench/driveway was filled with all sorts of tools was always a treat for me, and I even got to help on occasion. I firmly believe that all children/teens should be exposed to repair work and tools at an early age, as it might stimulate (as it did for me) the willingness to learn more.
          I still look at technology and mechanical objects the same way, wondering how they were assembled and work they way they do. I will always have that 'curisoity' of sorts, but I now look up schematics and blueprints on the internet to find out more, as my quest for knowledge never ends.

III: Influences

          Even though I have somewhat managed to note what has made me be as inquisitive as I am, I haven't really mentioned *who* was responsible, dear Reader. The most obvious influence on me was my grandfather, who's extensive know-how in the ways of just about everything seemed to always provide an answer of sorts. Granddad was, from my perspective (for many, many years) a miracle worker. His carpentry and knowledge of every tool ever invented were uncanny, and helped me quite a bit.
          The main part of his philosophy was to never give up, and that there was a solution to every problem if we just had the patience to find it. I've maintained the same philosophy over the years (as a matter of honour) and have always driven myself to find answers and solve problems, no matter what they are. He taught me that I could never say the word 'can't', and that I had to persevere regardless of the circumstances. It's because of him that I ave the drive and determination that I do.
          My father has also been an inspiration, as his technical skills and ability to define a problem throguh mathematics something that I have always admired and have adapted in my own way as well. Whereas my Granddad would come to a conclusion in a given amount of time and then work on the solution more, my father was (and still can be) more apt to use analytics and a process of elimination in quick succession to get his conclusion and work on the solution. 
          My own process for dealing with any kind of problem or quandary is to quickly analyze the situation and come up with at least three or four viable solutions or ways forward, while addressing the need for a few more options should the need arise. One of my strengths has always been my decisiveness, and my willingness to make a choice, regardless if it turns out to be the wrong one. The old saying, "I don't lose, I either win or I learn" is something I live by.
          I have also been influenced by others in how I conduct research or solve problems on a day to day basis. I remember two teachers in high school (one in ninth grade, the other in twelfth grade) who were always responsible for making me think in different terms, and helped me develop my 'outside the box' style of thinking and problem solving. Whether it was a question that made me think, or an experience of their own that gave me insight into the ways of the world, there was always something they had to offer that I still use or draw inspiration from to this day. 
          The following are two examples of how and what they taught me, one for each of the two teachers:
          Mr. McCann was my ninth grade geography teacher, and he noticed quickly (unlike a lot of other teachers) my drive and determination to solve problems, especially if I had an interest in the subject matter. He had always mentioned to me to not give up on any particular problem, but to see it in more than ordinary terms. Our class unit on glaciation and the last ice age was something I enjoyed, and he used this to reinforce that some problems need to be addressed not just as something in the now, but in the past, and future to truly gain the scope of the solution needed.
          Mr. Zawacki was a teacher I had the pleasure of being taught by for a whole year, and not just one semester. I had him for my history class in the first semester, and then urban geography, both of which were my best classes in all of high school and were the two classes in which I achieved the highest marks. When solving problems under his direction, he always asked us, "Well, what do *you* think?" and, "Did you find the answer you were looking for?", which always seemed to make me read between the lines and consider another answer that might be present, one which I was never really was looking for in the first place. 
          Another person I had known for a long period of time that was both influential and inspiring was my long-time employer when I worked in the paint industry. This is a man that had dropped out of high school back in the day, but had a keen business sense and managed to turn an idea into the biggest and highest grossing paint store in the country, and even the continent. His directness and matter-of-fact way of thinking is one that challenged me to be better as well as make better decisions in the process. He also identified the fact that if I was given a task/problem to solve, that leaving me alone to do it and not interfering was the best way to help me gain confidence and and work more efficiently. There aren't many people I've encountered that understand me, and give me that leeway.
          It's a very rare person indeed that can not only understand my thinking process, but respect it and encourage it in the same right. For what they have done for me over the years, I thank them all very much.

IV: The Process

          Being a problem solver like me isn't something that happens overnight to someone and is suddenly a thing from there on in. For the longest time that spanned years (childhood, and into my early teen years), I used to have problems understanding a problem and what I needed to do to find a solution. Frustration was my constant companion whether I liked it or not, and there never seemed to be a clear path that would lead me to a viable answer that would bring about a conclusion.
          I'll take a scenario that I encountered back when I was thirteen years old. It might seem trivial, or even simple to some, but I'll explain the problem as well as the solution I came up with, and how said solution came about. I wanted to get my bicycle down a little early (on the first Monday of March break) from the massive hooks that my dad had installed on several beams in the garage. He was at work, and my mom was not exactly wanting to help me on this one. 
          The main issue present was the fact that said hooks were out of reach. My dad could reach them (he is six feet eight inches tall), but I was still quite small at this time. I did some serious thinking on how to get the bike down, and came up with the following solutions in short amount of time:
          The first was to go back inside the house and locate a step ladder down in the basement (workshop, no less). This would have alerted my mom to my plan, and she would have more than likely shut it down.
          The second was to someone get the extension ladder off the side wall of the garage and maneuver it to straddle the beams in the garage, with me climbing up to grab my bike and haul it down as carefully as possible. The extension ladder was heavy for me at that time, but not impossible to move.
          Option number three involved me using the butt end of a rake or shovel to push the front wheel of the bike off the hook, giving me more of the bike to grab and to try and lift off the remaining hook.
          Weighing all three options didn't take a lot of time, and it became clear that alerting my mom or trying to get an extension ladder up into the beams by myself could end in disaster rather quickly. So, I deduced that the third option would be the best, as the logisitics and effort needed to grab a shovel off the wall and use it to push the bike wasn't a big deal. In the end, I did managed to get my bike down with the shovel method, even if the bike did land on me and send me to the floor of the garage. I dusted myself off, found my helmet, and went for an early spring ride that day.
          I guess what I am trying to say is that I almost always come up with several options when presented with a problem, and plot out each solution in my mind before applying any of them. I might be a chronic over-thinker, but it does come in handy sometimes. Rarely do I ever solve a problem with only one or two possible solutions in mind. I prefer to be able to come up with multiple options, just in case there needs to be on the spot adaptation due to unforseen circumstances.

V: Desire To Learn

          We we think about learning, we usually picture a classroom with a chalkboard and a teacher writing things out on it that are part of some lesson plan. I've learned far more away from the classroom than I ever did inside one, and I am also proud of that. I had mentioned earlier that my dad and granddad both taught me hands on skills that related to mechanical and carpentry, but they also had a great deal of books that dealt with a variety of subjects.
          My love of history came from reading and absorbing various books on subjects such as geography, military and war history, disasters by country, pivotal events in human history that either changed the world and/or made an impact. Those kinds of books were like candy to me, and still are. I could never (and will never) get my fill of historical accounts that detailed events or processes that helped to shape the world. I have especially been fond of books dealing with the World Wars, as well as biographies of famous historical figures (Canadian Prime Ministers, sports stars, American Presidents, etc.).
          Books are there for us to read them, and it has always been my mission to read what I can read and expand my knowledge on anything and everything. I've never been satisfied with only knowing a little bit of something, and have always been that person who wished to grab as many books as possible on one particular thing and read up. One of the first big things that I wanted to know inside and out was the story of the RMS Titanic. That ship had captivated me as a kid, and I started to seek out any kind of book on it. I had in my possession many years ago a Titanic picture book (with captions) that told the story of the ship alongside the images, but lacked depth in terms of details.
          That book came out in the early 1990's, and since then, I have read scores of books ont he subject and have even purchased a couple of my own. If you really wish to know a thing and learn about a thing, you must read (and reading) multiple sources (books) on the subject and keep learning about it as much as possible over long periods of time. You can't just stop at one book and think you know all about said subject. There are always new authors putting their own spin on things or adding details that perhaps another author didn't think about adding, lending to further dimension.
          Aside from books, documentaries are also my jam. Where most people will use streaming services or buy DVDs for movies or TV series, I use said streaming services to watch new and ever encompassing documentaries on just about anything historical, liking some of the serial killer and technology documentaries as of late. 
          In the last couple of years, I have spent some time watching documentaries on historical figures like Robert F. Kennedy, the Unabomber, as well as a series based on financial frauds, corporations that broke all the rules to make their profits, and even a couple that highlighted some of the juggernaut fast food chains. A documentary can be like a book with video clips, and they offer an interesting look into fragments of history and society alike, and can be learned from.
          I wasn't always interested in documentaries, but they started to catch my eye in the ealry 2000's as some of my favourite science fiction franchises were either winding down and slowly coming to an end (as that's all I primarily watched back then, aside from motor racing and football). I latched on to a documentary or two on the History channel (or Discovery channel) back then, and saw what I liked. When a documentary came along that featured something I was interested in, I gave it my full attention and enjoyed every minute of it, just like I do to this day. 

VI: Eureka Moments

          I talked about not having all the answers as a child early on, but it's really when you have those 'eureka moments' that feature a solution to a decades-old problem, or an answer to a question we had asked as a child does everything come together, dear Reader.
          These 'eureka moments' can be as simple as recollecting something, figuring out an enigma that never made sense, translating a saying or a phrase that only adults knew the meaning to, or connecting something in the present with a fragment learned as a child that had no bearing on you back then, but made all the sense in the world decades after the fact well into adulthood.
          For example, I had heard as a child the phrase, "If it ain't broke, don't fix it." I wasn't able to wrap my head around it for quite some time as it didn't make any plausible sense to me until I happened onto the phrase again in my late teens, by which point I had managed to have a couple 'eureka' moments. When the phrase was used in the context of something familiar as working on a car that didn't need repairs (to basically ensure the person doing the repairs wouldn't break something else in the process), the phrase suddenly made all the sense in the world.
          I'd like to say that I'll tell more tales of how the 'eureka' moments started, but I personally believe that how they come to a conclusion is what really matters. It always seems that I have these 'eureka' moments due to coming across something that might seem unrelated, or especially in giving someone advice about a situation in a way that triggers a memory to something I saw or experienced as a child that stayed with me (in my mind) enough to turn it into something useful. I've also noticed that a 'eureka' moment can happen due to life experiences, as we sometimes have to experience/endure/overcome a thing to finally realize what it all means or what the point of it was.
          Other 'eureka' moments can come from having an image in our minds that had been lodged there since we were kids, only to see a visual of that thing again as adults and instantly know what it means at this point in time. Perhaps it's a picture we saw, a moment in time that we remembered, or something as trivial as pointed out by our parents that really never made any sense to us. A 'eureka' moment can also be something we may have heard - a melody or song or an unfamiliar sound - that reappears many years later when we have the know how and resources to track it down.
          Case and point: I had heard a song back in the late 1980's in the form of a music video on a program my dad was watching on TV. The song itself stuck in my mind, and I always seemed to be able to hear it in some form or another. Fast forward to the year 2012, when I was at work, mucking about in the rear of the building, when I heard said song come over the radio (via the overhead speakers). I froze on the spot and listened to it intently, knowing that it was the exact song that I had been trying to track down for many years! I used the phone at my workstation to call the radio station and inquire about the song I just heard, and they were happy to tell me the name of the song, as well as the band that had written and played it!
          For me, this was a 'eureka' moment more than two and a half decades in the making, and it brought a resolution that gave me much relief. I went home that night and downloaded the MP3 of said song (which by the way was called 'April Fool' by a Canadian band by the name of Chalk Circle) and listened to it a couple times that evening to enjoy something that had eluded me for so long.

VII: Life Experiences

          We are all a work in progress, but as human beings we seem to learn a lot more about life (and ourselves) through personal experience. That being said, Dear Reader, not all of our experiences are positive, but we still do learn things especially after the negative experiences that draw out a lot of our core being int he process. Only after we go through something, do we have the knowledge left over and the tools to use that knowledge and also pass it along to others so that we can help them to not repeat our mistakes and hopefully enlighten them to another path.
          I have recently been fortifying the thoughts and emotions of a dear friend of mine who is going through some personal issues at home with her spouse. I will not mention names here, nor will I get into details (out of confidentiality and respect), but I will say that going through the negative experience of being in a long-term relationship that ended in deceit and treachery (as well as a sense of sadness for not doing more on my part to prevent the very way it came crashing down around me) to be able to relate to my friend as to how to rebuild oneself, and/or using mental discipline to overcome the odds and build a new foundation to move forward.
          I've always echoed the statement that the toughest battles we are to face in this life are situated in the mind, and need to be fought and won in the neurons of our own brains, and the basic tenets of our personalities. Where most people would feel sorry for the person going through something profusely as well as heaping on the pity and only trying to find the easiest way out for their friend, I try to help reinforce the mind and make sure that positivity and moving forward are the main things that are used to build that new foundation that may mean the difference between overcoming the diversity and seeing the proverbial light at the end of the tunnel.
          As brutal as it is to learn valuable life lessons in a low point or dark time in one's life, it's necessary. If all the experiences we have in life are pleasant and unchallenging, we won't really learn anything. Knowledge is power, but can only be that way through failure and troubleshooting. We need to fail our way to success, and that is how we move forward and become better people along the way. Take the good and the bad, and learn equally from them both, as I have done. 
          One excellent example is how my parents lost their first and only house almost eight years after acquiring it. Even at the age of eighteen, I didn't understand the bank foreclosure sign stuck to the window, and shrugged it off as something that was beyond my understanding at that time. All these years later, and knowing now what it takes to own and maintain a home (which is even a LOT more involved now than it was back in the 1990's), that experience alone has kept me from buying a house of my own without the proper resources and going down the road of bankruptcy and debt. Yes, by renting I am not owning, but I am also not in debt, and I swore to myself that would not go down the same route, and/or live outsude my means.
          Knowledge comes in many different forms, but in this case, it was in a preventative nature that stayed in my head long enough for me to make sense of the financial processes and quagmires needed to try and own a home. The experience of seeing my parents lose that house, and the later knowledge of the mortgage and home ownership system has prevented me from doing the same thing. Knowledge can be power by helping to gain something, but knowledge can also be power for helping to prevent a certain chain of events from happening (usually by preventing your gain in a good way).
          I might be rambling here, Dear Reader, but it's all worth it!

VIII: Pieces Of A Puzzle

          Time more than anything is what really bring this all together and helps us to have the wisdom that comes from a combination of many of the things I have been conveying to you all this time, Dear Reader. One of the reasons we have all looked to a parent/grandparent/adult in awe from time to time (as children or young adults) is because they have the years that we do not. They have seen more, done more, and experienced more which has allowed them to have the knowledge they have.
          Do we surpass them sometimes? Of course we can, and some of us do. There has to be a willingness present to expand on what is known and push the limits as far as we can to learn even more. Some people as they get older tend to stagnate and stick to their base knowledge and can be 'set in their ways' per se. This also prevents them from ever having newer experiences at an advanced age, instead relying on tried, tested, and true know how that gets reused over and over again.
          Personally, with the exception of automotive on a whole, I have surpassed the knowledge base of both my parents, as well as many seniors these days who fail to push the limits of what they know even farther. Will I stagnate at some point as well? I don't think so, only because I continue to want to learn more, keep looking for problems that need to be solved, and always have the desire to come up with answers to questions that I may have. As time goes by, the pieces of the puzzle of life continue to fall into place and make even more sense.
          I guess you can say that we start the puzzle as kids, put some more pieces together throughout childhood, add even more pieces (some which don't make sense) as young adults, and then finally add in the missing pieces as we progress through life and make it into our forties and beyond. The puzzle pieces that are knowledge seem to fit better and better as time passes, but for me the puzzle itself also gets larger and more complex whether I like it or not.  As I sit here writing this, I have been working on some small and large problems all day that require solutions, with the problems themselves becoming more complex and involved day by day.
          Being a neurotic over-thinker also lends a hand to the puzzle piece aspect of the problem solving struggle, but it has always helped me to research longer and compile more complete notes and points that most people would end up overlooking. There were days back in the high school era in which I would spend countless hours down at the public library, researching for projects, doing some personal research and pondering books I might want to sign out to continue solving problems with, and just immersing myself in knowledge while finding ways to absorb it all.

IX: Conclusion.

          Will I ever end my lifelong quest for knowledge and wisdom? I think not, as there is always something new to learn and to add to my overall base. Will I ever stop being fascinated by things out in the real world? Again, no. I still look at things with the curiosity of a child, and am always trying to ascertain as much as I can about them. I have never been content with just shrugging something off when there is something to be learned or catalogued within my own memory.
          The difference between my curiosity as a child and my curiosity now is that I posess knowledge that I wasn't able to back then, and I have had my own experiences along the way and learned things that help me to explain the nuances of life nowadays and answer some of the questions I might come up with. Every day to me is like putting pieces of that puzzle together to learn something new, and expand my horizons. There is no such thing as too much knowledge or wisdom, and I would be not only contrite, but a hypocrite in the worst way if I didn't push my own limits and seek out knowledge as a whole.
          I encourage everyone - including you, Dear Reader - to make the effort to ask questions, embrace your curiosity, and seek out all the questions that need answering, and do your best to accomplish these goals. No one will do it for you, and the rewards for the mind outweigh the risks. 
          Boldly go, and enjoy it.

                                                                        -

          Author's note: This particular memoir was more of an explanation than a showcase of memories or events in my life, but I decided to reference more in this case instead of going on about smaller events that maybe weren't what would be considered as 'pivotal' or whatnot.
          Instead, I provided a glimpse into my mind and my inner workings, giving you a clear picture of how I perceive things in my quest for knowledge, and how my thinking processes actually work, from a certain point of view. Being a chronic over-thinker has it's pros and cons, and not everyone has a strong neurosis that guides a lot of what they do on a daily basis.
          It's a wonder I get anything done at all some days! 

                                                                                                                -Jason J. Buchholz